dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have tasted many bathrooms
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
