do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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