i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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