i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
