Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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