i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
They took my balls.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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