I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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