he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
where are my eyebrows?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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