one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
