Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
