Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
