Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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