seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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