I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
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Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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