All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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