We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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