Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize