i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
