I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
