yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
