spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
