You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
