she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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