Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
