Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
