didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize