I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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