i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
