brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize