just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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