Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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