I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
