I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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