you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize