You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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