she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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