He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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