Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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