Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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