I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
