I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize