I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize