okay pat passed out under dana's car
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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