Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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