Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
