I accidentally had phone sex last night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
