sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
