everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
