i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
