I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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