Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
