Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize