wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
