They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm at about main and main street
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
