Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
